meet me in Venice [=

UPDATES: so the beach is the most AMAZING place ever. lol, a few days ago me, meech, kitty, and asyia were skim boarding at zuma. Meech ended up with a sprained foot. I ended up bleeding with huge bruises. Asyia lost her prescription glasses, and poor Kitty had three different color tans. lol, but yeah Skim Boarding is super extreme... and amazing. So we started a team.. --> valleydolls ^.^* <---- don't forget the face lol.
but I'm totally off subject right now... Sunday night we decided to hit up Venice Beach just to prove our injuries couldn't hold us back. lol, the little drum festival [every Sunday night] was AMAZING ! Well until the police drove us onto a small patch of grass with their little clubs threatening to arrest everyone. lol, it was cool though... everyone half naked just dancing & feeling the beat. Others chanting "bang that shit homie", or fuck the police... or something that sounded like fuck you, i won't do what you tell me to. anyway, meet me in Venice next Sunday night [=..

where do i start....

RIP FARRAH FAWCETT & MICHAEL JACKSON

No offense to Michael, i mean I'm just as big as a fan as the next...
but his death really took away from Farrah [who put up one hell of a fight against cancer]. Like one second she was on the news, radio, Internet etc. then less than an hour later it was Michael Mania. I know death isn't like a popularity contest... but I'm just sayin. Anyway, two amazing legends and they'll both be missed dearly. Oh and pray that those Jeff Goldblum rumors are false =[

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- to switch it up...
my .... [uhh well she's like a sister to me] is visiting for the summer.
I took her to a Cali Party last night... and I was a little embarrassed at our behavior.
lol, anyway i think she had fun...[ well i hope she did. ]

I was SOOO dumbfounded when i got to the center of the crowd and realized
that this was the root of it all. Umm, they were "dancing"
as some call it. I hope no one video taped it...
it got pretty NASTY to say the least.
Uhh eek -_- [awkward], i just pray alcohol was present.

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[ Okay] , if you're still reading .. THANKS [=....
the last thing worth mention is me and Matthew's "frieniversary"

... [ or would it be Matthew and I??]
lol.... people keep asking me about it..asking me if I'm joking
sighhh, you guys should know I NEVER play.
we've officially been Best Friends [forever] for a year.
I can't believe I haven't been hospitalized due to like an anxiety attack.
......cause Lord knows that boy be stressing me out.
...but with bad [or in this case, awful] there is good. & if you happen

to come across this lol, thanks for always having my back like my spine.

I LOVE YOU !!!

class of 2009

So June 18th marked the LAST day of my high school career. the last day of dress codes, hall passes, & people taking my damn cell phone. My reality still hasn't set in.. like I am no longer a high school student. Like my days of saying "I'm only in high school" are over. I'll never see some of those people again. Fuck that's harsh.. i really
thought i would be the first one sobbing at graduation lol but I only shed a few tears when she spoke briefly about Valerie Huling [RIP] . 0kay, on to lighter things. Did you see me on
the channel four news? They like made me talk, i didn't wana. & Gradnight was soooooo much fun ! The perfect end to an amazing school year.
By the time 4am hit though i was ready to leave.. as I'm sure everyone else was =\. I was like sleep walking by the time 6am came. Ummm, last words lol [= ; I'm so proud of everyone that made it all the way to graduation. Trying to get there was a long and tiring journey. But WE MADE IT ! lol, i wish you guys all the best in the future. '09

"& so he came to a crossroads and understood the meaning of bittersweet. Though the road ahead was fresh and exciting and would take him where he wanted to go, he thought of the sweet road behind. He would never walk it again" - Thomas Wolfe

happy prom ^-^*

this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as pictures are concerned
- the rest are on facebook [=
ahh! class of 2009

DearDiary,

so,
my life's amazing with or without you.
well, amazing without you is an overstatement....
bearable is a better word.
But you can't win them all though... right?
I've completely gotten over missing you...
you've become a lesson. A lesson that I'm sure I've
learned many times but STILL haven't seemed to grasp.
I NEED TO LET GO.
But letting go has always been a hard pill for me to swallow.

Every time someone mentions your name... I begin choking
Choking on tears before they even have a chance to touch my cheeks.

All of my thoughts quickly become stained

with old images of your face. Suffocating me in memories

as they slowly reappear. I was pretty sure I'd buried them,

but they find a way to resurface... somehow. I'm trapped,

drowning, begging to be let of a reality that i cannot escape.

want perfection?

Did you care to understand the person I am... or were your assumptions enough to satisfy you? If my name's ever casually mentioned one day in a conversation, you cant say "Oh I know her..." [well at least not if you're being honest] because when did you EVER take the time to do that? ... From day one you assumed I'd be someone I wasn't. You put me up against impossible standards, I was destined to lose. Funny thing is, I never thought it'd cause me to lose you too. I mean, I was in competition with someone that YOU mentally created to be perfect for you.... only with my face attached. Every time you opened your mouth and said "I Love You," you were lying. You didn't love me... you loved the person you thought I was... or better yet the girl you wanted me to be. You completely gave up on me because I couldn't be who you imagined. The statement "just be yourself" totally leaves out that "just being yourself" isn't always enough.