April 17, 2011



[some shit I jacked off Tumblr. ]

April 16, 2011

his masterpiece [kind of old]

He’s a painter
Typically anywhere but on my face. 
He is an artist…. my body, his canvas. He colors me… black, blue.
                                                                       Sometimes he surprises me by adding splashes of pink and red, to show my appreciation I close my eyes and wait for it to end. It’s love, it has to be. If he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t paint on me. He’s says its my fault, I’m his inspiration. I don’t see how I’m to blame for his impatience. He’s good at making excuses even better at making me feel fat, ugly, and useless. My mind is weak, but my body is weaker. It looks fine on the surface; I dare you to look deeper. His masterpiece complete.. The hatred in his eyes retreats. It’s only then that he repeats “I swear I’ll stop doing this to you”. Everything in me wants to believe him, but his actions always speak louder than his promises do...  



April 13, 2011

Impressionist.

We were nothing special- all feelings I'd felt before.
That doesn't seem to satisfy their questions on why we're no more.
I tried to explain that you and I constructed our own Monet
               - a picture only appearing real from far away. 
But still they want reasons why we didn't last… I can't find the words to
explain that weren't meant to be anything more than bold nostalgia…
exquisitely painted pictures from things you've seen in the past… 
Simply impressionist… creating beautiful masterpieces- losing 
ourselves in each other time and time again, passionately colorful releases.
Maybe we could've caught more than just a glimpse… 
if lust hadn't of stained our view… 
but you were gone from my life before i even realized i was losing you.

March 29, 2011

I haven't written anything in sooo long, I figured if i posted something
or at least attempted to write something it'd help me get out of this little
depression I've been in... we all go through it... i think lol

one day...
I'll find a dream and chase it... 
harder than I've ever chases anything before.
I'll make choices with no one else's opinions in mind.
I'll live the life I want, for ME. 
I'll find a guy who appreciates me.. [one day I'll appreciate me]
I'll love him... with no regrets or doubts.
Even though I know we won't last forever... I'll adore every second
of his company. I won't look back. I'll let go of the past.
... One day, I'll be free.